OOUUUCCCHHHHH

OH dear...I dont think I should be standing on a newly tattooed foot alllll day, look how swollen it is!!!!! the Crease on the front there near my toes is from my shoes....how funny!! I love it though, I was a bit worried and I asked the tattooist if it needed to be moved down a bit to the side but then he and the owner explained that it is on the thong line and they put my shoe on and showed me and it is perfect, so all good, looks even better with heels!!lol

So it means 'believe', cause with everything that Im going throught with a lot of elements in my life I have to remind myself to not only 1, belive in myself, but 2 believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel, a couple of other things, but I'll keep them to myself:)
On another note, another blogger has pulled their blog again... so funny, this person cant keep up with their own lies...Ive been reading for a few years and i still cant believe the shit that it spins...no names, Im not that bitchy.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, as of today I have lost 2.1 so far...awesome hey!!!!!!!!!! even eating that pizza last night I lost 600grams this morning... I am so please with myself, without being concieted you know what I mean, its taken a long time to get to this head space again.

Todays food

Meal replace
coffee
banana
tuna and 4 vita wheats
shake
almonds and apricots
b beans
tea
chicken and greens


IM GUNNA GET SKINNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, im another fucking year older.....................oh brother, great, I hate getting older, i cringe when its April, hate it , i still feel 20 ffs, i cant belive where allll these years have gone, i still feel like im a new mum at home in my mums house with a new born for heavens sake @ 21...sigh...oh well, never mind,

so Im still going really well on my new eating plan, its been 7 days today and Ive lost 1.5kilos already...awesome:), next week I am hoping o lose another 1.5kils, all good. but if I dont...no worries:)

We had pizza for dinner..*cringe*, but i made the right choice with 2 slices of vegetarian thin crust pizza and green salad...how good is me!!lol

So food today

meal replace

tea

banana

tuna and 4 vita wheat

shake

almonds and apricots, same amount everyday

2 slices vegie pizza, lettuce, tomato, olives...yummy:)

hot choc

coffee

oh and the other BIG news, i got my tattoo today on my foot, of course I have left my camera at work...so i'll try and remember photos tomoz:) I texed my mum when I was getting it done and sent piccys from my phone...she laughed, and said dont tell your father!!! lol how funny, he will flip though....dammit

Weigh in......

1.3kilos gone..........Good I was expecting half of that so Im happy with my efforts for this week and I'll keep going til next weigh in...cant wait:)

I made...and ate 2 little banana patty cakes this morning for school going back tomorow, I'll freeze them and get them out as needed, my day off today, I do have to go out, I have a councelling session for N at 1pm, still not gotten him on track, I have to bribe him to come home and go to tafe or something cause he still is doing nothing...its just terrible, anyway, see how we go today.......

Food today

Meal replace
tea
banana
2 patty cake...*treat*
sardines and 4 vita wheat
shake
apple
bbeans
chicken and veg
skim hot choc
coffee

ahhh...another great day:)

I survived!

the weekend that is!!!!! Im so proud of my efforts thus far, Im just stiking to my routine, eating the same thing everyday and really focused on losing weight, i have weigh in tomorow and ya know Im only looking at between 500gm and 1kilos maybe, but thats ok, if in 1months time Im only 1kilo lighter i will have to reassess my food.

I mowed the lawn, well the front lawn, I raced to it was getting darker and the oven had 15mins left!!lol, made it to.

Food today
Meal replace
banana
coffee
tuna
4 vita wheat
15 almonds and 4 apricots
shake
b beans
1/2 chicken breast and greens.
skim hot choc
coffee.

I halved my whole dinner tonight, so I will see if that makes a difference in the morning.. weigh in tomorow:)

The only time i get hungry is about morning tea and just before dinner so thats pretty good so far. I have a free meal tomorow night but I think i'll skip it this week, just keeo going while it is going well i think! I have been tempted by chocolate even!!!! shock horror!lol


I going out (maybe) with friends into the city on sat night, im a bit nervous though, but I'll see how I feel, i might even have to work on the sunday, so if that is the case maybe not...i just dont know yet..


HAIRDRESSING

Hmmmm, thats not going so well, I have no confidence and self esteem when it comes to me cutting hair, consultating, colour, I guess its just cause I have so much going on around me and different things happening in my life, that I dont put on here, and im just struggling, I try to be positive and thats all i can do. Im actually thinking of going to couselling...not sure yet....


I am on holidays the week after next and Im getting a tattoo on my foot, im been thinking for a long time what I would like, i tossed up with drangon flies, and butterflies, hearts, and then maybe stars, but I have decided on something finally!!!

Piccys will come later:)

lovin it

Im loving that I havent gone off track once since I started on Tuesday, only 4 days I know, but good for me.

Im actually fighting being depressed about the way I look, its only been 4 days and I know its taken 18months to lose tone and pile the fat cells back on, but I just hate, hate, HATE, the way I look, plus its my bday soon and I think Im just depressed all round:(

I so wish I had someone to spend my life with, someone who genuinlly cared for me and was positive and just an all round great person...I think they are few and far between and I think that the few people who have that are extremely lucky.

I guess Ive hated myself and my situation for so long that this is just my lot and it wont change?

Anyway, nuff of that, dont need to bring myself down more..

Food

Meal replace
banana
coffee, Bbeans and 4 vita wheat
shake
tea
tuna
skim hot choc
chicken and vegies for dinner.
pepsi..(diet)

all good, Im not bored with it yet

If I exercised for an hour a day it would make a huge difference, but Im not, slowly does it there cause Im so unfit and hate exercise.. not good.....

Awesome

Day 3

Going well. Im proud of my efforts, I know its only the 3rd day, but thats good for me.

My stuff came and the meal replacment is like drinking chocolate Mousse, it is soo yummy, which makes it even easier. Ive not been hungry at all today

Food today
Coffee+banana+meal replace
15 almonds and 4 apricots...(this is a sweet treat and the combo is the best!)
apple
shake
baked beans and 4 vita wheat
tuna....(yuk...I much before salmon)
ww chicken fettucini...mmmmmm
tea and then a hot chocolate

my measurements have gone down since I last did them which was a surprise to... its ok, they will go down again.

I told the girl at work, who has now lost 22kilos, (and her hair is falling out) that Im gunna get skinny, you know what she said? " I'll believ it when I see it!!"..in a nice way,, but hmmmm


WELL JUST YOU WAIT:)

I will eat Tuna this week and I am going to change it to salmon next week, Im hoping the higher fat content wont make a difference...I was nearly gagging trying to eat tuna...i used to eat eat it no worries, maybe cause I was eating salmon? I'll probably aquire a taste for it again??

dunno

here we fucking go again!!!!!!!hahahahaha

So easter is done and dusted, nothing new really, I eat chocoalate alllll the time.

Kids had fun, ate heaps, got heaps, all gone now though, which is good!!

Soooooo, yet again Im trying something new, well not new, Ive done it before and it worked, I need to drop weight fast!!

Im back doing meal replacement shake and protien powder.

Im on my second day, im determined this time, Im going to see how skinny I can get, im around 72 fucking kilos, AGAIN, so fuck it, this weight is going, Im uncomfy, my clothes are tight, Im just heavy, I heave myself around, its fucking awful.

So I got my order today, all new stuff, I have been having my old protien powder, (not shelf old!) just stuff I bought before and just finishing the tail end of it. I have to stick to and , and I will, this new stuff cost me $160!! Thats motivation enough!

My food goes like this

Shake + coffee + Banana
Tuna + Tea/or coffee
Shake + apple
Baked Beans
then any meal at night time. healthy vegies, salad and chicken, Im sorta off red meat, I only like mince, heart smart of course!!

For a treat I can have 15almonds and 4-6 dried apricots. And I get 1 free meal each week, that will be Mondays, when I weigh in. I'll make lasagne next week I think?

And Im not hungry at all, Im trying to drink a lot more water, but I have to run to the loo alllll the time, luckily the salon is right next door to a loo!!

Im gunna do this, and Im gunna be skinny.

I also am back doing my resistance band, and squats, leg lifts ect. Its great!

I started that yesterday to.

My starting weight was 72.1 yesterday, a big spike after easter FUCK IT!!!! never mind, I have gotten my mindset finally right, Im motivated to lose as much as I can. But I must do my weight training again as I want/need to tone, I will start situps when I lose a bit more belly fat, Body Trim recommends only 10000 steps while losing weight, I dont really think I do that much within a day at the salon, but I'll work on more incedental exercise.

I have to take measurement in the morning to before I lose anything!

I WILL GO TO MELBOURNE IN THE 60's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise:)