rant coming

Im so mad with myself....

I ate chocolate today and now im annoyed with myself................i just needed something sweet!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ive just stuffed myself on the treadmill by doing 7.2kph running, and walking at 6kph....then i get off and look in the mirror and fucking want to VOMMIT...now ive got a headache and feel sick cause i pushed myself to hard....


Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Fat

AND I WILL NEVER BE SKINNY ENOUGH.

rants not finished but i feel sick so im going..............................................................................



fat fat fat fat fat fat fat yuk

.....

i ran for a full 5mins!!! doesnt seem much..but to me thats awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So im having an all protien today

Food
eggs
tea
tea
ham
tuna
chicken
cheese
tea


we'll see how it goes.......

Just gotta keep exercising....only 3-4kilos to go....

I'll get there..

Edit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Na, didnt like all protien...to structured....so i had a ham, cheese and tomato roll for lunch and crumpets for morning tea... I think i do better if i just do it my way......i will run/walk again tonight......I was looking at my old measurements...I have 8cms to lose off my hips....shit thats heaps.....and another 5cm of me waist.....been there before so im not worried.

all in good time!

weigh in

Well I better, Im not gunna miss a week all together..

So 70.6kilos....loss = 700gms....BIG DEAL...but better than yesterday i spose. still shit considering all that im doing..

Food today
tea
cereal
banana
so far............

went to the shops and now i have to write what I had for lunch...
a hotdog and a skinny milkshake....oh no!!!!!!

then a friend casme round for a coffee and of course she bought a lamington cake with cream..I had a small slice, so i didnt appear rude, but you know what..before i could eat a lot of fresh cream, but today it tasted off to me..it wasnt as it was made today, but i think my taste buds have changed??

then i had vegies and chicken balls for dinner.

I think i need a lot more protien in my diet..my friend and i were talking and she has done the body trim thing and she thinks I need protien at every meal and only protien for my snacks, so im gunna change my diet a little.

Im not skinny enough...but then again will I ever be?

not today

Im spitting the dummy and not weighin in...Im fucking disgusted..how can I go from 69-1 allllllllll week, then bang back to 71.1 today...so NO, im not weighin in today.

Not sure where i am going wrong..maybe still to much food?

So today
tea
cereal with banana
apple
vegie soup
skinny hot choc and 2 scotch finger bisc........thats bad Im sure.
almonds
brocholi for dinner.

No more bread
No more cheese
No pizza at all

and exercise 2 times a day.


So annoying...1 step forward and always 3 steps back.

OMG...WTF??????????????????????

OMG....I am up on the scales...HEAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck...weigh in tomorow...just when I think Im doing ok...I think it must have been the fact that i didnt drink water yesterday and I had 2 pieces of pizza...they were small ffs!!!!

AHHHHHHHH...anyway.....we'll see in the morning when I have to record it...dammit...just when I think im going so well!!!!!!!!

So food today
tea
cereal
water
banana
water
brocholi for lunch
apple
vegies for dinner as well.
water
water
water!!!!!!

Plus I'll do my tready tonight and i will drink a lot of water...I HAVE TO BE IN THE 69'S TOMOROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still there

still the same weight...yay
food
eggs and toast
tea
banana
crumpet
apple diet pepsi..(yuk)
half a can of chicken and veg soup...yuk
2sm slices of pizza and salad
tea

So my date went ok, it only went for an hour...good way to start though. This guy is soooo a player, he was txting like crazy all week and ringing me, and then today 2 txts....exactly what he did to my friend..how funny..well he can hit the curb, I even had to buy my own drink!!!! Thats what he did to my friend to!! lol Im meeting another one next week, in a public place of course, good way to make new friends.

he was nice enough..nothing to write home about and probably a friend only..all good.

I didnt do my tready yesterday, but will do it soon tonight......not much more to lose now....2-3 kilos....yay..now just have to tone up!

*done* 25mins on my tready

69.1

into the 60's....for now!!!!

So, my date is tonight and all the excitement has now gone......my friend had a date last night and guess who she saw...my date with another woman...all good and I didnt really mind, but he told me he had a meeting in the city...man I can pick em!...anyway he reckons it was his financial advisor..blah, blah, I just feel sick now to think how to get out of anything after the date...I will go tonight for just 2 hours and tell him friends only....fuck this is where I think its better to be on my own......stupid husband's fault, least i new him...8years...anyway... see what happens.

after tonight Im gunna cancel my dating site profile....not worth the hasstle, u dont know what ur getting into??????????? awful.

Foods awesome, exercise is awesome, weightloss attitude awseome...all good, I'll be back at 67 in no time.

Love it when a plan comes together.

well....I had a fillet of fish for lunch...will that hurt??? hmmmmm no chips tho!!!!! yayayay