free week

I fucked up this week and now I have to keep going..Im not weighin in..well I did and its not good.

Im joining the gym tomorow...cant wait..I need a professional to help me with the shaping of my body I think....a lot of help is needed. Mind you I dont know when I am gunna find the time to go, what with the kids and all that but I will work sumthing out...

I ate chocolate today..emotional eating..dammit

one of my workmates was talking to a PT and she has said to lose weight you need to eat the following for 4 days

2 eggs
50g chicken
100gm chicken n green vegies
50gm chicken
100gm chicken and grenn veg

hmm..Ive done somthing very similar and the weight does come off...might start that tomorow......



I want to get to 65kilos.

and I fucking will too.

tomorow..

I'll weigh in
I slept in and jumped right into the shower and ran around like a blu ass fly!!

just smashed it up on my tready I ran at 8.2KPH!!!!!!!! fucking yeah!!!
I did my arm work tonight to..


I'll get there...regardless of what my scales say tomorow....

which by the way is gunna be BIG>>>>>>><>

all good......its a process:)

hmmmm

what a big weekend I have had with entertaining and its gunna show tomorow with weigh in..so I might not even look...not game really as a set back will just knock me out again.

dam dam and dam.

I am supossed to have tomorow off, but i have to go to the city for a cutting course..dam even more...love my days off..but this is for a great reason.

Still struggling with doing my apprenticeship..Im just really not sure if i want to do it, but then ive come so far..blah blah...my hands a really suffering tho, dermititis, its fucking awful and embarassing, looks terrible..

oh well.

New day tomorow, I will put this weekend behind me and all the wrong foods I ate and the wine i drank....oh man its just getting worse!!!
arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

what else??

Man...what else can I do to get rid of this FAT...im running and walking twice a day...its just not fast enough...and by the fucking way...NO ONE noticed Im 3kgs lighter FFS...jesus Ive got to lose another 5 for it to be noticable????? Bloody hell

Oh well...JUST KEEP GOING!!!!!

I will to
Food today
cereal banana and tea
almonds
tuna sanga
cuppa vegie soup
apple
tea
baked potato, with extra lite sour cream and sweet chilli an 1 rissole. YUM

Ive done 40mins all up on that fuckin treadmill....still not thin!!!!!

all good...another 2 weeks ill be lighter again...then another 2 weeks and so on and so fourth

Im getting back into bike riding to..I need to get my bike from my ex..will do that on the weekend. Bike riding at least will help more to.

Im even thinking i might join the gym..not sure yet..time is limited

Im also really thinking about work..Im just not sure i want to do it anymore..i do but i dont..I think i really miss being a stay at home mum with the kids and i can thank my fuckhead ex husband for that..while he was earning over 100K..he told me to get a job and start contributing as he had done it for long enough...SELFISH PRICK. we had said i wouldnt go back to work til C was at school...but no, as usual he was always changing the goal posts..FUCKIN ASSHOLE..so now ive missed all this time with my babies..assssshhhoooolllleeeeeeeeee.....
and meanwhile all the money i earned went in DAYCARE...what a fucking idiot.

Men mate..most of them really have no fucking idea. I think he was just jealous i was at home with his children and he was 'working his ass off'...as i heard every second day.


WANKER.

THANK FUCK HE'S OUTTA MY LIFE.

weigh in

Big deal 700gms again....well i think, my digital numbers are not displaying properly so im guessing...i could take it as 68.3 or 8 but hey i doubt it

so now----69.9 under 70 so thats awesome...not far to go now...thank god.

Ive turned the house upside looking for the warrenty, but as usual i cant find it...dammit, matbe it needs new batteries...i will try that first..hopefully thats it...they are not 12 months old yet.

onward
Food today
cereal
tea
banana
protien shake (half)
tuna on premium
apple
protein shake (half)
brocholi and pasta bake stuff...with cheese in it...yummy

not much more...we have an auction for work tonight, we earned money..monopoly money with services we did and i want a t shirt with our brand of products....heres hoping

other than that that is it.............so far

Keep going keep going!!!

well I have done 15mins on the tready already...motivated plus!!!!

U wanna know why??? My date was HOT, this guy is training for S.W.A.T in the force..i think thats what it is called out here, anyway, he trains 3 hours...yes HOURS!!! every morning, and then works, then does more running and stuff at night....Holy fuck...I was embarrassed by my own body, wondering what the fuck he was meeting me for????? He has 8% body fat ffs....anyway, gives me motivation to keep going..I love it when you can see slight muscles on women...Im gunna get some hand weights this week...I have read that your muscles have memory, so I hope that mine remember how they used to be and bounce back!!lol

He was a really nice guy to, tall as well, which is good for me, cause Im a giraffe!!lol..he talked non stop and it was awesome...we were at the cafe for 4 hours...awesome... hopefully I will see him again?? The only thing that worries me is that he has only just seperated from his wife, long time coming, like everyone, but hmmmmm not sure there??

So food today
egg on toast
tea
apple

so far...

Well my date was really, really nice...he was a genuinly nice guy, the conversation flowed really well, we were there for just over 2 hours...just lovely..I would love to be friends with him, no hesitation to hang out...friendship would be awesome...he was just lovely...a true gentleman. oh well we will see...

So food today
cereal, banana, tea
apple
tuna sanga
??
dinner- Brocholi and chicken..

I still havent lost anymore this week...WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?????? GRRRRRR

only 3 to go. and i know i can get there, ive been there, maybe its harder cause in older?? Huh, NO excuse, I ovioulsy just have to work harder.....GREAT! not.

Oh well, just a bit of housework today, then this arvo, im going to do my friends hair..she has a date as well, and then my date tonight...wow...3 dates in 2 weeks...better not have anymore now for a while.....no shortage of men tho..which is good, i just want friendship at the moment anyway.....maybe one day I'll find mr right???? although this time im not settling for shit, hence really getting to know someone first....not gunna rush in like my last 2...........

No...my son didnt come out..oh well, he reckons Sunday arvo?? we'll see....

so I had a decent breaky today
eggs on toast, cereal and banana and tea.
apple for mid morn
vegie soup for lunch
tuna for mid arvo
brocholi and chicken for dinner.

3kilos to go...3kilos to go...3 kilos to go..............not much but such a lot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So my date for tonight is on...we are meeting for hot chocolate....oh how nice...this one is a nice guy I think...not very tall..only 5cm taller than me..dam...and he works in mental health, so hope he is ok..the other one, the copper...is getting grief from his ex..hmmmm, do need that shit thats for sure........he hasnt txt much today so might just leave that one alone for a bit. shame..he seems nice to!!

oh well what will be, will be.....

I just ate a ww choc ice cream bar and it was surprisingly nice...and onlky 2.5 points....haha...

shopping

againnnnnnnnnnnnnn

shit I have gone through some money on these holidays....

So my son is coming out tonight...well I hope, he was meant to come tues, then wed, so we'll see?? Im cooking his fave dinner...mac and cheese...mm thats good for me!!!! NOT!!! I will have anly a small amount with lots of brocholi
we had maccas for breaky so NO...i wont be ranting again.....

I made a jacket potatoe, with extra lite sour creme and bit of cheese and sweet chilli sauce for lunch
apple for arvo tea then dinner

then stuff meself again on that tready...30mins again, i might break it up into 15min slots though, i get very bored easily.

i hate food.
i love exercise.

So i havent heard from my date on Friday night...maybe he is not keen on going out...no drama, Im going out with another one on sat night..hes a police officer, so this will be interesting!! lol

I tell these men im only after friendship for now...never know I may like someone eventually.

Cant stand my ex husband and its getting worse...hes a right fuckhead....losing his control, and boo hoo he doesnt like it...he came over the other day, with 6 beers. he proceeded to put them in the fridge and then drink 4 within 20mins...he wouldnt fucking go home, my friend came out to pick her daughter up and he still fucking hung round...i had to tell him I had to get organised for dinner,so he got the hint..then he tried to cuddle and kiss me!!! FUCK OFFF, serfously, how can they be so fucking stupid???????????????????????????????????

drives me insane...how the fuck i lasted so long with him is beyond me????????????????



still fat.....

rant coming

Im so mad with myself....

I ate chocolate today and now im annoyed with myself................i just needed something sweet!!!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Ive just stuffed myself on the treadmill by doing 7.2kph running, and walking at 6kph....then i get off and look in the mirror and fucking want to VOMMIT...now ive got a headache and feel sick cause i pushed myself to hard....


Im sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Fat

AND I WILL NEVER BE SKINNY ENOUGH.

rants not finished but i feel sick so im going..............................................................................



fat fat fat fat fat fat fat yuk

.....

i ran for a full 5mins!!! doesnt seem much..but to me thats awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So im having an all protien today

Food
eggs
tea
tea
ham
tuna
chicken
cheese
tea


we'll see how it goes.......

Just gotta keep exercising....only 3-4kilos to go....

I'll get there..

Edit,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Na, didnt like all protien...to structured....so i had a ham, cheese and tomato roll for lunch and crumpets for morning tea... I think i do better if i just do it my way......i will run/walk again tonight......I was looking at my old measurements...I have 8cms to lose off my hips....shit thats heaps.....and another 5cm of me waist.....been there before so im not worried.

all in good time!

weigh in

Well I better, Im not gunna miss a week all together..

So 70.6kilos....loss = 700gms....BIG DEAL...but better than yesterday i spose. still shit considering all that im doing..

Food today
tea
cereal
banana
so far............

went to the shops and now i have to write what I had for lunch...
a hotdog and a skinny milkshake....oh no!!!!!!

then a friend casme round for a coffee and of course she bought a lamington cake with cream..I had a small slice, so i didnt appear rude, but you know what..before i could eat a lot of fresh cream, but today it tasted off to me..it wasnt as it was made today, but i think my taste buds have changed??

then i had vegies and chicken balls for dinner.

I think i need a lot more protien in my diet..my friend and i were talking and she has done the body trim thing and she thinks I need protien at every meal and only protien for my snacks, so im gunna change my diet a little.

Im not skinny enough...but then again will I ever be?

not today

Im spitting the dummy and not weighin in...Im fucking disgusted..how can I go from 69-1 allllllllll week, then bang back to 71.1 today...so NO, im not weighin in today.

Not sure where i am going wrong..maybe still to much food?

So today
tea
cereal with banana
apple
vegie soup
skinny hot choc and 2 scotch finger bisc........thats bad Im sure.
almonds
brocholi for dinner.

No more bread
No more cheese
No pizza at all

and exercise 2 times a day.


So annoying...1 step forward and always 3 steps back.

OMG...WTF??????????????????????

OMG....I am up on the scales...HEAPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck...weigh in tomorow...just when I think Im doing ok...I think it must have been the fact that i didnt drink water yesterday and I had 2 pieces of pizza...they were small ffs!!!!

AHHHHHHHH...anyway.....we'll see in the morning when I have to record it...dammit...just when I think im going so well!!!!!!!!

So food today
tea
cereal
water
banana
water
brocholi for lunch
apple
vegies for dinner as well.
water
water
water!!!!!!

Plus I'll do my tready tonight and i will drink a lot of water...I HAVE TO BE IN THE 69'S TOMOROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

still there

still the same weight...yay
food
eggs and toast
tea
banana
crumpet
apple diet pepsi..(yuk)
half a can of chicken and veg soup...yuk
2sm slices of pizza and salad
tea

So my date went ok, it only went for an hour...good way to start though. This guy is soooo a player, he was txting like crazy all week and ringing me, and then today 2 txts....exactly what he did to my friend..how funny..well he can hit the curb, I even had to buy my own drink!!!! Thats what he did to my friend to!! lol Im meeting another one next week, in a public place of course, good way to make new friends.

he was nice enough..nothing to write home about and probably a friend only..all good.

I didnt do my tready yesterday, but will do it soon tonight......not much more to lose now....2-3 kilos....yay..now just have to tone up!

*done* 25mins on my tready

69.1

into the 60's....for now!!!!

So, my date is tonight and all the excitement has now gone......my friend had a date last night and guess who she saw...my date with another woman...all good and I didnt really mind, but he told me he had a meeting in the city...man I can pick em!...anyway he reckons it was his financial advisor..blah, blah, I just feel sick now to think how to get out of anything after the date...I will go tonight for just 2 hours and tell him friends only....fuck this is where I think its better to be on my own......stupid husband's fault, least i new him...8years...anyway... see what happens.

after tonight Im gunna cancel my dating site profile....not worth the hasstle, u dont know what ur getting into??????????? awful.

Foods awesome, exercise is awesome, weightloss attitude awseome...all good, I'll be back at 67 in no time.

Love it when a plan comes together.

well....I had a fillet of fish for lunch...will that hurt??? hmmmmm no chips tho!!!!! yayayay