oh no

OMG!!! Ive had a terrible day!!! Ive been eating to much and not having my shakes and Im back up near 72kilos and Im not happy...I will never holiday again cause clearly Im not very disaplined....SHIT

We have had no water at the salon duse to pipe issues or some shit, so I didnt take my shakes...only cause I have to go to the loo every 5mins after drinking it!!, I was there all bymyself and had to close up and lock everything..just not worth the hassle..well I know thats only an excuse anyway..

So, tomorow the water will be back on, and shakes will start again..I need to hook in and go all commando.....do it with disapline...for once and Im going to get on my treadmill in the morning...I dont want to but I suck and my body is fucking disgusting...my senior that is leaving..(fuck it) is soooo tiny..mind you stress is really helping her atm..she is trying to eat, but not....she is soooo tiny!!!!!! love it!!

So tomorow
shake
coffee
apple
shake
almonds
green vegies.

and thats gunna be it for the next 3months!!!! minimum....gotta get thin and toned. 12 months ago I was fit and 66kilos...awesome...I'll get there

gotta keep telling myself that anyway....

I cant get back on track..its gone from bad to worse on the scale.......holiday time isnt the best for me i think!!

Never mind...i'll try again today.

We have had no water in the salon all week so Im there again today on my own til lunch, they think the water will be on today around 12ish?? hope so...I dont do well on my own with no one to chat with !!!!lol..all good


Oh yeah, Im blonde again to!! think I went blonde cause I hate how short it is..it will grow..it is growing...another 2 years and it will be back where it was...IDIOT!!!!!!! *grrrrrrrrr*

NOW I WONT CUT IT FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hmm yeah I'll see.......................

Melbourne is fantastic

Im back to reality and its such a shame!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE melbourne soooo much!!! the atmosphere, the culture, everything...awesome...

Had an awesome time, the wedding was great, a greek wedding...just amazing.. we ate sooooooo much food, but surprisingly enough I put on anly 800reams in the 4 days I was there, but 1.6 since last Monday..no worries, wont take long to get that back under control...

I'll organise piccys soon, lots to do this morning as mum and dad are coming out for haircuts..

and I just found out my favourite Senior, the one who has now lost 22kilos is leaving tomorow..she just found out that her fiance has been lying, cheating and taking drugs...fucking typical...Im sad that she is leaving and soooo quick.... sad:(

not quite there

But I did try!! Im not going to be under 70 for Melbourne tomorow, but Im not going to kick my ass over it... I enjoyed some Bubbly choccy today...not to much but it was nice.

Food today
M.R
Coffee
almonds
apple
1/2 slice pizza
chicken/bacon rissotto for dinner...not much food and practically no water today...Ive been really busy today...more shopping, coffee with a friend, nails and toes done...just have to pack..did all my washing, bought some new jeans a nd another nice dress...busy!!!

Im all excited...bit scared of the plane ride, cause you know, there has been a few incedents lately...but it will be fine!!!

I'll put piccys up later..me cameras doing funny things...or maybe thats me!!

anyway..till Sunday:)

ahhh

First day of my hols...alllll good, Ive vaccumed and wash the floors...Im going out soon to get a window sqeedgy thingy to wash my windows on the outside..they are yukky so they need to be done, i need to get school shorts for M, Ive got to go to the hair place and get some products to take away, and what else?? I'll put photo up after I charge me camera!

Im meeting up with my cousin in Melbourne to, they have just had a new bubba, so Im soooooooooooooooooo excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

laters

Went out, sorted out 15yo with a job network so hopefully we will get him a job.. I didnt get to Bunnings for a squeedgy thingy...its raining anyway so maybe tomorow?? I did get some colour for my hair, Im going blonde again and its gunna take a while, Im freaking out now cause I did a bleach wash and I couldnt get it as light as I wanted to tone with the toner I bought, but Im hoping that it will tone ok...fucked if its not!!!! I will get photos up here later....

Food has been good today after my carb filled shit dinner last night I was ..oh and peanut mnms, I was 70.5...shit, shit, shit...Ive been good today tho as I HAVE to be under 70 by THURS!!!!!!!!

Food

M.R
coffee
banana
almonds
3/4 cup of Pumpkin soup...(hienze) was yukky so I threw it out.
shake
coffee
Vegie pizza and salad, or chicken and brocoli...not decided yet?????

weigh in

Start 72.1
week 1- 70.8
this week- 70.0
Loss 800grams.

Not bad, I really think I should try not to weigh everyday, it will be hard, but I was 70 days ago, so Im a bit dissapointed, not that I should be I know, but I will be under 70 by the time I go to Melb on Thursday, Im not having any 'free' things today, to bloody determined!!

Food
Hot choc
M.R
banana
almonds
Shake
apple
dinner- meatballs and fetticini.

Have to go and find a dress for the wedding today, there is a shop near work that has heaps, so I wont not find something... I have snakeskins heels so, I have to find something to match, either in the colouring of that or red...I'll post photos later:)

Ok I found a dress and shoes to match then I found a ring and earings to match, LOVE my shoes, my dress is pretty awesome to!! Purple it is...soooo nice....

So much for no free things to...I had some peanut MnM's...my absolute favorite.. just a few though and I frooze the rest...so I dont feel guilty...mind you I dont like being on holidays trying to be good either...a bit hard so I have to be really good

just have to remember that I want to be under 70 very soon.

I cant get on my treamill till my foot has healed completely as it is just starting to scab up and I dont want to wreck it!!

grrr

Im on holidays now for a week...awesome, I haven't had a holiday...proper one...in over 2 years..cant wait!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I think Im going to have to change my food a bit.....Im hovering between 70. and 70.4...bloody hell, maybe Im not gunna eat vita wheat everyday and just have a shake at lunch, its not coming off very quickly and i dont want to get to diheartened, I know all that bullshit of small losses is a loss, but it looks as thiught im gunna lose 200gm this week...pathetic, I thnk i need to exercise...

soooooooooooo I started with my resistance band this morning, I did

10 squats

10 biceps

10 triceps

I will repeat this through out the day and Im hoping to start on me treadmill tomorow, kids will be at school and i'll just have to do it.

Food

M.R

coffee

apple

almonds

then going out to the city shopping so I'll have

skim hot choc

home for my shake at lunch

banana

mida arvo

Tuna

dinner

small steak and brocoli..

lets see if that makes a difference in the morning for weigh in...im dreading it at the moment now. I really, really want to be under 70 to go to Melbourne???????????? DAMMIT!!

flat out

another flat out day...I did an awesome cut today, the lady went from long to short and funky, bit like my style, spiky sorta at the back and then longer at the sides...it was pretty good, probably not perfect, but she loved it and that is all that matters...the girls at work were very impressed..lol, the actually looked on in disbelief..cause all this time, Ive always been to afriad to do anything new...not anymore, I beleive in myself:)

Food was a bit funny today as I was to busy

M.R
Coffee
4 vita wheats
tuna

and thats it today, I have brocoli in the oven swimming in light cream and then with cheese on the top... with steak. treat meal or what?? I have been trying to drink more water tho today and I will only have a small serve to.

Im not going out tonight either, Ide love to but I dont want any bastard to step on my foot, it has just started to scab up and it WOULD be my luck it would be stepped on and the ink ruined...next time, I straighted my friends hair and she was all dressed up, they will have so much fun!!

Oh well, next time:)

just getting better!!!!!!!

Another awesome day, i was sooooooooooooooooooooooo busy at the salon, i did 3!!!!! ladies haircuts!!! a little nervous, but im working really hard to believe in myself and have a really positive outlook, and you know what, its working, i had one lady rebook with me one request for me this morning an 2 others, after cutting thier (men) hair ask what days i work, so that great!!!

food
M.R
coffee
banana
tea
4 vita wheat
b.beans
3 savoury shapes
chicken and rice red curry...frozen meal.

i have had 2 serving s of carbs today, so I dont expect a change of a drop in the morning, maybe up 500grams or more, not worried, it'll be right, I'll cut out carbs tomorow and go for more protien..

what I really feel like is a nice serving of cheese! I LOVE cheese and I really, really LOVE marinated Feta from woolies, its, just, so good:)...maybe when I get down a bit more, I did the groceries with P tonight and I must say all the yummy food was so tempting, I even bypassed the chocolate isle....determination is me!

Foots getting better, Im not going out tomorow night, just going to pre dinner and drinks, although Im gunna try and get outta that, as 1, i dont drink, and 2, I dont want to eat there...hmm, we'll see hey?

the world doesnt revolve around anyone!!!

Hmm intersting comment left, 'someone' thinks i was talking about them...UMMMM, I left no names and of all the billions of blogs on here, NOONE knows who Im talking about...and I cant link it cause its gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a fucking ana blog anyway and I dont need that influence!!

HOW FUCKING FUNNY!!!!!! this comment was left by a blogger I thought stopped ages ago???? anyway Ive been pulled from their reader...so be it:) This one hasnt left a comment for years...I dont get some people and Im not about to start a blogger bitch fest, so Im not publishing it. Love comment moderation.

Soooooooooooo, in other news that im interested in

MY weightloss, still going great, still not eaten bread or chocolate or anything not on my list each day...awesome:)

Food today
meal replace
coffee
banana
4 vitawheats tuna
tea
shake
almonds and apricots
chicken and brocholi
hot choc.

All good, I do need to drink a lot more water though.....

OOUUUCCCHHHHH

OH dear...I dont think I should be standing on a newly tattooed foot alllll day, look how swollen it is!!!!! the Crease on the front there near my toes is from my shoes....how funny!! I love it though, I was a bit worried and I asked the tattooist if it needed to be moved down a bit to the side but then he and the owner explained that it is on the thong line and they put my shoe on and showed me and it is perfect, so all good, looks even better with heels!!lol

So it means 'believe', cause with everything that Im going throught with a lot of elements in my life I have to remind myself to not only 1, belive in myself, but 2 believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel, a couple of other things, but I'll keep them to myself:)
On another note, another blogger has pulled their blog again... so funny, this person cant keep up with their own lies...Ive been reading for a few years and i still cant believe the shit that it spins...no names, Im not that bitchy.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, as of today I have lost 2.1 so far...awesome hey!!!!!!!!!! even eating that pizza last night I lost 600grams this morning... I am so please with myself, without being concieted you know what I mean, its taken a long time to get to this head space again.

Todays food

Meal replace
coffee
banana
tuna and 4 vita wheats
shake
almonds and apricots
b beans
tea
chicken and greens


IM GUNNA GET SKINNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

happy birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So, im another fucking year older.....................oh brother, great, I hate getting older, i cringe when its April, hate it , i still feel 20 ffs, i cant belive where allll these years have gone, i still feel like im a new mum at home in my mums house with a new born for heavens sake @ 21...sigh...oh well, never mind,

so Im still going really well on my new eating plan, its been 7 days today and Ive lost 1.5kilos already...awesome:), next week I am hoping o lose another 1.5kils, all good. but if I dont...no worries:)

We had pizza for dinner..*cringe*, but i made the right choice with 2 slices of vegetarian thin crust pizza and green salad...how good is me!!lol

So food today

meal replace

tea

banana

tuna and 4 vita wheat

shake

almonds and apricots, same amount everyday

2 slices vegie pizza, lettuce, tomato, olives...yummy:)

hot choc

coffee

oh and the other BIG news, i got my tattoo today on my foot, of course I have left my camera at work...so i'll try and remember photos tomoz:) I texed my mum when I was getting it done and sent piccys from my phone...she laughed, and said dont tell your father!!! lol how funny, he will flip though....dammit

Weigh in......

1.3kilos gone..........Good I was expecting half of that so Im happy with my efforts for this week and I'll keep going til next weigh in...cant wait:)

I made...and ate 2 little banana patty cakes this morning for school going back tomorow, I'll freeze them and get them out as needed, my day off today, I do have to go out, I have a councelling session for N at 1pm, still not gotten him on track, I have to bribe him to come home and go to tafe or something cause he still is doing nothing...its just terrible, anyway, see how we go today.......

Food today

Meal replace
tea
banana
2 patty cake...*treat*
sardines and 4 vita wheat
shake
apple
bbeans
chicken and veg
skim hot choc
coffee

ahhh...another great day:)

I survived!

the weekend that is!!!!! Im so proud of my efforts thus far, Im just stiking to my routine, eating the same thing everyday and really focused on losing weight, i have weigh in tomorow and ya know Im only looking at between 500gm and 1kilos maybe, but thats ok, if in 1months time Im only 1kilo lighter i will have to reassess my food.

I mowed the lawn, well the front lawn, I raced to it was getting darker and the oven had 15mins left!!lol, made it to.

Food today
Meal replace
banana
coffee
tuna
4 vita wheat
15 almonds and 4 apricots
shake
b beans
1/2 chicken breast and greens.
skim hot choc
coffee.

I halved my whole dinner tonight, so I will see if that makes a difference in the morning.. weigh in tomorow:)

The only time i get hungry is about morning tea and just before dinner so thats pretty good so far. I have a free meal tomorow night but I think i'll skip it this week, just keeo going while it is going well i think! I have been tempted by chocolate even!!!! shock horror!lol


I going out (maybe) with friends into the city on sat night, im a bit nervous though, but I'll see how I feel, i might even have to work on the sunday, so if that is the case maybe not...i just dont know yet..


HAIRDRESSING

Hmmmm, thats not going so well, I have no confidence and self esteem when it comes to me cutting hair, consultating, colour, I guess its just cause I have so much going on around me and different things happening in my life, that I dont put on here, and im just struggling, I try to be positive and thats all i can do. Im actually thinking of going to couselling...not sure yet....


I am on holidays the week after next and Im getting a tattoo on my foot, im been thinking for a long time what I would like, i tossed up with drangon flies, and butterflies, hearts, and then maybe stars, but I have decided on something finally!!!

Piccys will come later:)

lovin it

Im loving that I havent gone off track once since I started on Tuesday, only 4 days I know, but good for me.

Im actually fighting being depressed about the way I look, its only been 4 days and I know its taken 18months to lose tone and pile the fat cells back on, but I just hate, hate, HATE, the way I look, plus its my bday soon and I think Im just depressed all round:(

I so wish I had someone to spend my life with, someone who genuinlly cared for me and was positive and just an all round great person...I think they are few and far between and I think that the few people who have that are extremely lucky.

I guess Ive hated myself and my situation for so long that this is just my lot and it wont change?

Anyway, nuff of that, dont need to bring myself down more..

Food

Meal replace
banana
coffee, Bbeans and 4 vita wheat
shake
tea
tuna
skim hot choc
chicken and vegies for dinner.
pepsi..(diet)

all good, Im not bored with it yet

If I exercised for an hour a day it would make a huge difference, but Im not, slowly does it there cause Im so unfit and hate exercise.. not good.....

Awesome

Day 3

Going well. Im proud of my efforts, I know its only the 3rd day, but thats good for me.

My stuff came and the meal replacment is like drinking chocolate Mousse, it is soo yummy, which makes it even easier. Ive not been hungry at all today

Food today
Coffee+banana+meal replace
15 almonds and 4 apricots...(this is a sweet treat and the combo is the best!)
apple
shake
baked beans and 4 vita wheat
tuna....(yuk...I much before salmon)
ww chicken fettucini...mmmmmm
tea and then a hot chocolate

my measurements have gone down since I last did them which was a surprise to... its ok, they will go down again.

I told the girl at work, who has now lost 22kilos, (and her hair is falling out) that Im gunna get skinny, you know what she said? " I'll believ it when I see it!!"..in a nice way,, but hmmmm


WELL JUST YOU WAIT:)

I will eat Tuna this week and I am going to change it to salmon next week, Im hoping the higher fat content wont make a difference...I was nearly gagging trying to eat tuna...i used to eat eat it no worries, maybe cause I was eating salmon? I'll probably aquire a taste for it again??

dunno

here we fucking go again!!!!!!!hahahahaha

So easter is done and dusted, nothing new really, I eat chocoalate alllll the time.

Kids had fun, ate heaps, got heaps, all gone now though, which is good!!

Soooooo, yet again Im trying something new, well not new, Ive done it before and it worked, I need to drop weight fast!!

Im back doing meal replacement shake and protien powder.

Im on my second day, im determined this time, Im going to see how skinny I can get, im around 72 fucking kilos, AGAIN, so fuck it, this weight is going, Im uncomfy, my clothes are tight, Im just heavy, I heave myself around, its fucking awful.

So I got my order today, all new stuff, I have been having my old protien powder, (not shelf old!) just stuff I bought before and just finishing the tail end of it. I have to stick to and , and I will, this new stuff cost me $160!! Thats motivation enough!

My food goes like this

Shake + coffee + Banana
Tuna + Tea/or coffee
Shake + apple
Baked Beans
then any meal at night time. healthy vegies, salad and chicken, Im sorta off red meat, I only like mince, heart smart of course!!

For a treat I can have 15almonds and 4-6 dried apricots. And I get 1 free meal each week, that will be Mondays, when I weigh in. I'll make lasagne next week I think?

And Im not hungry at all, Im trying to drink a lot more water, but I have to run to the loo alllll the time, luckily the salon is right next door to a loo!!

Im gunna do this, and Im gunna be skinny.

I also am back doing my resistance band, and squats, leg lifts ect. Its great!

I started that yesterday to.

My starting weight was 72.1 yesterday, a big spike after easter FUCK IT!!!! never mind, I have gotten my mindset finally right, Im motivated to lose as much as I can. But I must do my weight training again as I want/need to tone, I will start situps when I lose a bit more belly fat, Body Trim recommends only 10000 steps while losing weight, I dont really think I do that much within a day at the salon, but I'll work on more incedental exercise.

I have to take measurement in the morning to before I lose anything!

I WILL GO TO MELBOURNE IN THE 60's!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I promise:)