So funny...I went and got the layby for Ms bday...I had put it on layby 2 weeks ago and while I was there I found a few things for C for Xmas and one of the things was this Toy Story Buzz thing that talks and stuff if you shake it...wellllllllllll It was all wrapped up and then when I started moving off woth the trolly the fucking thing spoke and C was beside himself...oh shit...I'll never pick up laybys again with children !!!!!!! hahahahaha so funny...he 'll for get about it by xmas...my xmas stash is looking so healthy to date... last year I didnt really get anything throughout the year... Im prepared this year thats for sure.
I heard back from one kids mum this morning.so thats good...lucky I was home though..I did put on the invites to call AFTER HOURS???????? Dont people read stuff?????? Hmmm NOT.
not much else at the moment.
Diet can get stuffed...not worried atm. It will come off eventually:)
My Acai optimum just arrived...finally.. I actually had an argument with one of the operaters this morning as I had got them... only one lot, still waiting on the Colen clense one...dunno bout that one either?
I organised my linen cupbourd today...now my room, the family room and kids rooms to go...phew............
Sunday, May 30, 2010
48hous??? really????
Had a great night....we went out for dinner and then to dance, dance dance...it was awesome.. I was told by a younger guy I was gorgeous with awesome hair...hehe...nice for the ego:)
I went to the chemist to see about the 48hour detox, its looks ok, not much onfo...Im just a bit nervous about what its gunna do to me..... I probably havent mentioned this befor but Im paranoid about getting sick with vomitting and diareha..(dont know how to spell it)..to the point I get panic attacks if I think Im sick when I wake up in the morning...long story but I could never get sick as a mother or wife..my fuckhead husband wouldnt let me..longer story, but Im soooooooooooooooo scared to get sick its nearly a phobia...silly I know... but i get quite funny and think all these awful things are happening to me and I almost faint..but its all in my head....Fucked up I KNOW......
.......So back to this detox, Im just to scared to do it, incase I get sick or the runs!!..hmmm I'll think about it some more.
Another thing....after looking at everyone out last night... I am not gunna be to obsessed about the way I look any longer. Im sick of it and there are all shapes and sizes in this world and mines average...yep, Ide like to be thin and toned, but seriously...life is short.
anyway......I am going to pick up M bday pressies tomorow...I have got her HEAPS!!!! lol...too much but I dont mind....your only 7 once:)
My eldest son is moving out apparently... Im very upset about this, we dont get along, but hes just to young to really know what hes doing....hes been talking to mum and dad...hasnt rung me or seen me since last Sat.... I must be such a horrible mother figure to him, to actually hate me that much.......:(
I went to the chemist to see about the 48hour detox, its looks ok, not much onfo...Im just a bit nervous about what its gunna do to me..... I probably havent mentioned this befor but Im paranoid about getting sick with vomitting and diareha..(dont know how to spell it)..to the point I get panic attacks if I think Im sick when I wake up in the morning...long story but I could never get sick as a mother or wife..my fuckhead husband wouldnt let me..longer story, but Im soooooooooooooooo scared to get sick its nearly a phobia...silly I know... but i get quite funny and think all these awful things are happening to me and I almost faint..but its all in my head....Fucked up I KNOW......
.......So back to this detox, Im just to scared to do it, incase I get sick or the runs!!..hmmm I'll think about it some more.
Another thing....after looking at everyone out last night... I am not gunna be to obsessed about the way I look any longer. Im sick of it and there are all shapes and sizes in this world and mines average...yep, Ide like to be thin and toned, but seriously...life is short.
anyway......I am going to pick up M bday pressies tomorow...I have got her HEAPS!!!! lol...too much but I dont mind....your only 7 once:)
My eldest son is moving out apparently... Im very upset about this, we dont get along, but hes just to young to really know what hes doing....hes been talking to mum and dad...hasnt rung me or seen me since last Sat.... I must be such a horrible mother figure to him, to actually hate me that much.......:(
Friday, May 28, 2010
weigh in
Oh shit..didnt go so well..lol 72-6...DOH!!!!lol ah well next week:)
Been a bit quiet at work..I did an unreal french roll/barrel curl upstyle today...left me camera at work, but I'll try and remember it tomorow..assessment I hope.
I did my 2nd concave bob, first on unassisted yesterday..fucking scary and I think she wanted it a tad shorter but Im not scissor happy yet...I'll get there ;)
Me toe is all but better, a little sore..not broken, did i say that already? went to the Dr..all good..just ugly.
I was working with another girl today and she went on the 48hour detox..Im gunna do that to..get it on the weekend...
Not much else... going out tomorow night..very exciting, well sorta. I have nuthing to wear cause Im to fat and I havent been out for ages..........should be good. I intend to drink..not much. but just enough to relax and be able to chat to people...Im a little shy around new people...( I know, who would have thought) only in a 'going out' situation..as I can chat away at work to new people everyday????? weird..I guess Ive always been nervous like that...oh well...Im sure alcohol will help:)
Havent seen or heard from my son since last Sat...little shithead, he has spoken to my dad and he said he sounded a bit down..is it any wonder??
fucking hell...sooooooo stupid what he is doing............ he was caught in the city riding trains with no tickets...lovely....I went terribly wrong somewhere.
Been a bit quiet at work..I did an unreal french roll/barrel curl upstyle today...left me camera at work, but I'll try and remember it tomorow..assessment I hope.
I did my 2nd concave bob, first on unassisted yesterday..fucking scary and I think she wanted it a tad shorter but Im not scissor happy yet...I'll get there ;)
Me toe is all but better, a little sore..not broken, did i say that already? went to the Dr..all good..just ugly.
I was working with another girl today and she went on the 48hour detox..Im gunna do that to..get it on the weekend...
Not much else... going out tomorow night..very exciting, well sorta. I have nuthing to wear cause Im to fat and I havent been out for ages..........should be good. I intend to drink..not much. but just enough to relax and be able to chat to people...Im a little shy around new people...( I know, who would have thought) only in a 'going out' situation..as I can chat away at work to new people everyday????? weird..I guess Ive always been nervous like that...oh well...Im sure alcohol will help:)
Havent seen or heard from my son since last Sat...little shithead, he has spoken to my dad and he said he sounded a bit down..is it any wonder??
fucking hell...sooooooo stupid what he is doing............ he was caught in the city riding trains with no tickets...lovely....I went terribly wrong somewhere.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
this will be interesting
I ordered and am waiting for Acai Optimim and colan something or other....meant to be some breakthrough weight loss and feel good potion...we'll see, I tried to do as much research as possible, but they only really tell you what they want you to know.. apparently you can lose shit load of weight cause your coloan gets all clogged up and eww yuk...just sounds gross. I'll document it and see how I go?? I'll try anything once...specially as this weight is just ugly and depressing at the moment....*sigh* meanwhile I KNOW i need to get off me ass and it will help.
Moving on
I went to Tafe today all day...cool, like going there, although my mind is scrambled from all the concentrating...finished the colour book today...and did more french rolls...dont know how I managed to get my other one to assessment standard as I couldnt get it there today...grrr
Quiche is in the oven as we speak..I LOVE quiche..its one of my faves..well I have many, but love quiche!
C has a terrible sore tummy as he has been coughing for days...poor lil fella...hate when they are unwell....
Did I tell you I nearly broke my big toe??/ well I did, on Friday arvo, I dropped the sign from the shop on it, clean slipped outta me hands...ouch alright, havent been able to walk and its black, was swollen but thats gone down now....Im gunna lose my toenail..which is a real shit as I hate that look and I always have painted toes...good thing it is winter so I can wear closed in shoes.....DAMMIT!!!! I took a photo but my feet are ugly..well ALL feet are ugly..I hate feet..when I was working as a nail Tech I never did pedicures!!lol fucking YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moving on
I went to Tafe today all day...cool, like going there, although my mind is scrambled from all the concentrating...finished the colour book today...and did more french rolls...dont know how I managed to get my other one to assessment standard as I couldnt get it there today...grrr
Quiche is in the oven as we speak..I LOVE quiche..its one of my faves..well I have many, but love quiche!
C has a terrible sore tummy as he has been coughing for days...poor lil fella...hate when they are unwell....
Did I tell you I nearly broke my big toe??/ well I did, on Friday arvo, I dropped the sign from the shop on it, clean slipped outta me hands...ouch alright, havent been able to walk and its black, was swollen but thats gone down now....Im gunna lose my toenail..which is a real shit as I hate that look and I always have painted toes...good thing it is winter so I can wear closed in shoes.....DAMMIT!!!! I took a photo but my feet are ugly..well ALL feet are ugly..I hate feet..when I was working as a nail Tech I never did pedicures!!lol fucking YUK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, May 24, 2010
yea...Na
Id love to have a little botox...but hmmmmmmmmmm.....really??? look at our poor lil Kylie...Sunday, May 23, 2010
Bloody Mondays....
Im hopeless on Mondays...foodwise I mean...actually Im hopeless unless Im in a controlled environment like at work!!
C and I went shopping this morning, I got new clothes..yippeeeeee, and I got slippers for P, couldnt find slippers for me or C...he didnt like the little uggies I wanted for him..never mind...M still has slippies that fir so she's taken care of.
Then I did the groceries..hmm not good when your hungry, so C and came home and had party pies and marty sauce. yummo, cept for the 'meat' I scraped all of it out by the last 2...yukky, I ate 4...
I have a scrummy lamb roast in the slow cooker now..cant wait...nice big lot of vegies with that to...yummmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
later
Im off to book M oarty at Maccas, did you know you have to do it all online now??? hmmm, dont like that Idea..anyway....later
C and I went shopping this morning, I got new clothes..yippeeeeee, and I got slippers for P, couldnt find slippers for me or C...he didnt like the little uggies I wanted for him..never mind...M still has slippies that fir so she's taken care of.
Then I did the groceries..hmm not good when your hungry, so C and came home and had party pies and marty sauce. yummo, cept for the 'meat' I scraped all of it out by the last 2...yukky, I ate 4...
I have a scrummy lamb roast in the slow cooker now..cant wait...nice big lot of vegies with that to...yummmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
later
Im off to book M oarty at Maccas, did you know you have to do it all online now??? hmmm, dont like that Idea..anyway....later
Saturday, May 22, 2010
weigh in
Well after the week of trying to behave I lost 900grams, thats fine Im going for slowly, slowly does it I think,if I can get to 68kilos that will be great...Im not bothered by how long it takes either...no rush, just as long as it comes off huh?
Nice day today, lots ofwashing to catch up on as it was raining for the last few days, housework to do as usual, but I have two days off so thats awesome..
I did my first 1/2 head of foils yesterday, cut and blowdry...all good, it took me around 40-45mins to do the foils but thats ok, I did 2 colours alternating to...nice way to start off foiling I guess, something a bit challenging..all good..the more I do the faster I'll be and the better at it I'll be...Im feeling a little more confident now with the way I speak and its probably just faking it till I make but, but its a good way to build up I guess.
later
Nice day today, lots ofwashing to catch up on as it was raining for the last few days, housework to do as usual, but I have two days off so thats awesome..
I did my first 1/2 head of foils yesterday, cut and blowdry...all good, it took me around 40-45mins to do the foils but thats ok, I did 2 colours alternating to...nice way to start off foiling I guess, something a bit challenging..all good..the more I do the faster I'll be and the better at it I'll be...Im feeling a little more confident now with the way I speak and its probably just faking it till I make but, but its a good way to build up I guess.
later
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
bliss
A day off...a thursday at that!!!!! so that means no thursday night trading...yerrrr harrrrr:)
When I go senior...which is only 14months away!!! I am not working thursday nights!!!! no way nno how...if they dont like, well kiss my ass Im senior and I can get a job ANYWHERE!!!!!! Hairdressers are alawys in demand so good!!!!!
Im doing foils now on headblocks, just getting my courage up to takle real people..I can do it, it just takes a little longer, but more practice and I'll be faster..my friend wants 1/2 a head of foils so I should practice on her..she's fussy though and will prob say NO!!lol...we'll see:)
Im cooking my dad dinner tonight, he is home byhimself tonight cause my mum will be at work...its his bday, so I thought that would me lovely! it will only be the older 2 and myself, my littlies are at their fathers til Sat arvo this week.
P and I are going out with said friend to a nice dinner, this restaurant is in the city and you choose all the ingredients yourself and they cook it in front of you..awesome..cant wait:)
weighed meself this morning...72.1kilos..a little better..not worried, dont care...it will come off... 200grams a week for all I care...it will come off though. I'll be patient.
When I go senior...which is only 14months away!!! I am not working thursday nights!!!! no way nno how...if they dont like, well kiss my ass Im senior and I can get a job ANYWHERE!!!!!! Hairdressers are alawys in demand so good!!!!!
Im doing foils now on headblocks, just getting my courage up to takle real people..I can do it, it just takes a little longer, but more practice and I'll be faster..my friend wants 1/2 a head of foils so I should practice on her..she's fussy though and will prob say NO!!lol...we'll see:)
Im cooking my dad dinner tonight, he is home byhimself tonight cause my mum will be at work...its his bday, so I thought that would me lovely! it will only be the older 2 and myself, my littlies are at their fathers til Sat arvo this week.
P and I are going out with said friend to a nice dinner, this restaurant is in the city and you choose all the ingredients yourself and they cook it in front of you..awesome..cant wait:)
weighed meself this morning...72.1kilos..a little better..not worried, dont care...it will come off... 200grams a week for all I care...it will come off though. I'll be patient.
Im not joing the dating site just yet....kids are to young....maybe next year...all at school then...meanwhile we are going out next Sat with the girls...cant wait...you never know whos out and about!!!!! I'll meet someone eventually.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Never ending
My son got caught again today for shoplifting in Myer..over $100 worth...jesus christ Im sick of this shit, he missed his course start date...which was on Monday and I was talking to the Senior Detective..whom Ive had dealings with for over 12months, we're great friends!! (lol) and as we were talking he got file handed to him and low and behold,,,,,,,,he is my son again..Photos....SQATTING, for fuck sake in the city...W.T.FUUUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK???? Unrealllllllll, he has a home here, food, a bed, clothes...everything....I might not be rolling in money but my children get what they need...soooooooooooo, he has another courst appearance...its just a joke..I need an hour to tell it all over the last 12 months but there is just to much, so that will do...more mess for me to deal with..more stress to go through...honestly..how much is one person suppossed to take????????
any wonder I eat......Im sooo stressed out on the inside..I hide it so well to..its good... but I wish my stressing starved me...it doesnt I go the other way...shame really..never mind, Im not dead or terminally ill and Im trying to be positive
Im joining a dating site soon..someone out there will love me Im sure., cant just be this in life... I long to get married again and have everything my way and my dad is gunna walk me down the isle and Im gunna be surounded by friends and family...didnt have the wedding I wanted the first time so maybe next time will be lucky. Could take 10years, but it will be worth it. Id just love to share my life with someone that loved me totally, that would be so nice.
work was a little slow today, we did no colour at all...can you imagine..man weird..I watched our new senior today do a uniform mens haircut today..really good..learning something everyday is great.
Food was ok...not good though..its ok...I run to the cupboard when Im sad, or angry, or anything really..shame.
any wonder I eat......Im sooo stressed out on the inside..I hide it so well to..its good... but I wish my stressing starved me...it doesnt I go the other way...shame really..never mind, Im not dead or terminally ill and Im trying to be positive
Im joining a dating site soon..someone out there will love me Im sure., cant just be this in life... I long to get married again and have everything my way and my dad is gunna walk me down the isle and Im gunna be surounded by friends and family...didnt have the wedding I wanted the first time so maybe next time will be lucky. Could take 10years, but it will be worth it. Id just love to share my life with someone that loved me totally, that would be so nice.
work was a little slow today, we did no colour at all...can you imagine..man weird..I watched our new senior today do a uniform mens haircut today..really good..learning something everyday is great.
Food was ok...not good though..its ok...I run to the cupboard when Im sad, or angry, or anything really..shame.
Monday, May 17, 2010
some good news...........
I got signed off for my Mens Modules today...this means Im competent in all my mens haircuts, short back and sides, med length, long length, and a flat top...freaking awesome!!!!
Food today
I wont complain
tea
crumpet with honey
tea
salad with cheese
slice of quiche
toast with egg and vegie omelette
lots of eggs today....all good.....
I reckon the minute I stop hating myself and all thats going on around my life I reckon I could get somewhere...I wish I could just not eat... not think about food..nothing..im stressed enough but this doesnt help my weighloss efforts...in fact it is the opposite, I eat shit to feel better...what a fucking joke!
ahhhh.....I weighed myself today
72.8...WTF?????????????? Jesuse Im back to what I was fucking 3years ago...not wuite as bad as whaen I had my last child...that was 82...fuck, Im on my way there though...and I still dont fucking care...WHY???????/ Maybe I need fucking counselling?? think I have thunkeded this before, probably do me the world of good, I need to like myself and what I do and how I mother my kids and do my job.....one day
If I did the shake thing and commited to that for a month Ide be where I want to be... I decided this morning that I will be happy at 68kilos.... I would love to be 65kilos, but fucking hell, lets face it, Im getting old..Im lazy and I like my food...dam shame that is... I though this blog would help me out with being accountable and all that, but nup, didnt happen.... Im just like a fucking broken record, so I apologise in advance for all the shit I write...its getting boring!!
Food today
I wont complain
tea
crumpet with honey
tea
salad with cheese
slice of quiche
toast with egg and vegie omelette
lots of eggs today....all good.....
I reckon the minute I stop hating myself and all thats going on around my life I reckon I could get somewhere...I wish I could just not eat... not think about food..nothing..im stressed enough but this doesnt help my weighloss efforts...in fact it is the opposite, I eat shit to feel better...what a fucking joke!
ahhhh.....I weighed myself today
72.8...WTF?????????????? Jesuse Im back to what I was fucking 3years ago...not wuite as bad as whaen I had my last child...that was 82...fuck, Im on my way there though...and I still dont fucking care...WHY???????/ Maybe I need fucking counselling?? think I have thunkeded this before, probably do me the world of good, I need to like myself and what I do and how I mother my kids and do my job.....one day
If I did the shake thing and commited to that for a month Ide be where I want to be... I decided this morning that I will be happy at 68kilos.... I would love to be 65kilos, but fucking hell, lets face it, Im getting old..Im lazy and I like my food...dam shame that is... I though this blog would help me out with being accountable and all that, but nup, didnt happen.... Im just like a fucking broken record, so I apologise in advance for all the shit I write...its getting boring!!
Sunday, May 16, 2010
hmm
no good news this weekend..food fucking sucked..Im not gunna bother trying anymore, Im destined to be fat I reckon...I eat shit alllll weekend and then feel the guilt..its so pathetic...I even thought of joing ww online again....it helped me once before...what the fuck is it??? I CANT GET INTO THE RIGHT MINDSET???????? FUCK>>FUCK>>>>FUCK IT..
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
the end.
I piss myself off.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
the end.
I piss myself off.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
another day
Had an ok day at work...forgot to say yestaday..my teacher finally marked off my French roll!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have been struggling with this for aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggesssssssssss, fucking MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!! you see I have NO patience..(surprise surprise?) lol anyway one upstyle down about 7 to go................GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I dont like upstying very much, probably cause I suck!!!lol....seriously, I NEVER think Im good at anything...but you know what, I am!! and I will get better!! there, there is some positivity!
Food..not bad...could be better
cereal
tea
salad...with cheese and ham in it.
4 rice cakes with vegemite
chicken parmi...from the freezer!! and potatoes.
Oh and I had chocolate today.
I had flat top training tonight..well I went to watch, I have to do the mens cutting book assessment and I need to do a flat top...they are quite easy (to watch)..but Im not sure how I will go..I have done a few steps of one but hmmm we'll see...Im thinking of giving my 4yo one in the morning???? if he will keep still that is, I bought a full size mirror for my cutting at home..so much easier...its funny, I cant cut cut wothout a mirror now..lol
I was happy at work today as a guy came in today and asked for a blended mowhawk with a 3 blade on the sides and back..I was thinking to myself..fuck!! this would FREAK me out totally and ide be running for the back room a few months ago, but today, as I was cutting, I was actually creating art, if that makes sense...here's me, cutting this guys hair, he has come in and put his faith in me as a hairdresser and I have done my job, I created his style and he said it was awesome!! so proud of myself in that moment...cause as you might guess, Im VERY down on myself and never think anything I do is good enough..but today, that haircut, I did it and felt good about it.
but on the other hand
a lady came in and wanted a Jane fonda, flip out style, I did the best I could, but I dont think i styled it quite the way she was expecting, I asked her a few times if she was happy and she thanked me and said yep, she was, but I think I could have done better...but I guess this is how I learn...I used to HATE it when a man walked in, god, I would freak out and try and hide and, shit, I was soooo scared, now, I dont mind, I just do it, I feel confidant doing pretty much any mans style..well within reason, Im not a senior, but I think I work well ..(on mens cuts) to where Im up to.
Now my point is, I was scared till I kept going with mens cutting and now Im not so ladies cuts will be the same..I just want to be the best cutter..I love cutting..colour not so much, but I guess Im learning, so that will come to..
phew... the end!
I have been struggling with this for aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggesssssssssss, fucking MONTHS!!!!!!!!!!! you see I have NO patience..(surprise surprise?) lol anyway one upstyle down about 7 to go................GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR I dont like upstying very much, probably cause I suck!!!lol....seriously, I NEVER think Im good at anything...but you know what, I am!! and I will get better!! there, there is some positivity!
Food..not bad...could be better
cereal
tea
salad...with cheese and ham in it.
4 rice cakes with vegemite
chicken parmi...from the freezer!! and potatoes.
Oh and I had chocolate today.
I had flat top training tonight..well I went to watch, I have to do the mens cutting book assessment and I need to do a flat top...they are quite easy (to watch)..but Im not sure how I will go..I have done a few steps of one but hmmm we'll see...Im thinking of giving my 4yo one in the morning???? if he will keep still that is, I bought a full size mirror for my cutting at home..so much easier...its funny, I cant cut cut wothout a mirror now..lol
I was happy at work today as a guy came in today and asked for a blended mowhawk with a 3 blade on the sides and back..I was thinking to myself..fuck!! this would FREAK me out totally and ide be running for the back room a few months ago, but today, as I was cutting, I was actually creating art, if that makes sense...here's me, cutting this guys hair, he has come in and put his faith in me as a hairdresser and I have done my job, I created his style and he said it was awesome!! so proud of myself in that moment...cause as you might guess, Im VERY down on myself and never think anything I do is good enough..but today, that haircut, I did it and felt good about it.
but on the other hand
a lady came in and wanted a Jane fonda, flip out style, I did the best I could, but I dont think i styled it quite the way she was expecting, I asked her a few times if she was happy and she thanked me and said yep, she was, but I think I could have done better...but I guess this is how I learn...I used to HATE it when a man walked in, god, I would freak out and try and hide and, shit, I was soooo scared, now, I dont mind, I just do it, I feel confidant doing pretty much any mans style..well within reason, Im not a senior, but I think I work well ..(on mens cuts) to where Im up to.
Now my point is, I was scared till I kept going with mens cutting and now Im not so ladies cuts will be the same..I just want to be the best cutter..I love cutting..colour not so much, but I guess Im learning, so that will come to..
phew... the end!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
I actually did
....some great work today...believe it or not!!! mind you it came with some yukky news, but again, I wont go into that....it was my friend that came into the salon..some news..but anyway moving on
I did an awesome colour, I did a panel of bright violet on one side and the I did that same colour through the back... my fucking camera is not responding to my computer, but I want to put piccys up......yeah 30mins later...stupid thing..anyway how cool does that look!!!!!
I was really busy today, I did 2 ladies haircuts and then 2 colour jobs....I actually felt really confidant this arvo, maybe cause she was my friend, but I felt really comfy and I was chatty and it was really good..no pressure maybe, the new senior was there and another senior I dont work with very often, it was really good...good day.....
Food was not bad, I did eat 2 donuts while I was cooking dinner.
points today
cereal and skim milk
tea
banana
salad with cheese
2 donuts
satay chicken and greens.
tea.
Not bad
shit no water though...really got to work on that......
Monday, May 10, 2010
did my sewing, but they were to big and I had to put elastic in the waistband, which still worked so that was ok.....food sucked, but hey...who cares..i have a lot more unhappiness to worry about weight...i will still behave but I think Im finally working it out
1 I dont like my situation
I dont like my job as Im to scared to fuck hair up
I am not happy with my mothering skills...or lack of
I am not happy with my relationship statas...again soooo much more to that and I cant really say on here
I think Im simply so unhappy within everything i do I just hate myself..it such a shame, I try to be positive cause lets face it, Im healthy, thank the universe, my kids are all healthy, again, thank god...I really have NOTHing to be unhappy for...But I just am.....I lead such a double life, I pretend everyday..
anyway..enough of that..im sure it wont be like this forever and I wont be in my situation forever....
back to work tomorow, our new senior comes in tomorow, this will be fun...i dont do well with change and stuff, she will be lovely Im sure.
I did a client on Sat, she had a cut, colour and 5 foils through the top...I did pretty good, she was happy so thats the main thing..
anyway 10.30pm...Im soooooo tired
nite
1 I dont like my situation
I dont like my job as Im to scared to fuck hair up
I am not happy with my mothering skills...or lack of
I am not happy with my relationship statas...again soooo much more to that and I cant really say on here
I think Im simply so unhappy within everything i do I just hate myself..it such a shame, I try to be positive cause lets face it, Im healthy, thank the universe, my kids are all healthy, again, thank god...I really have NOTHing to be unhappy for...But I just am.....I lead such a double life, I pretend everyday..
anyway..enough of that..im sure it wont be like this forever and I wont be in my situation forever....
back to work tomorow, our new senior comes in tomorow, this will be fun...i dont do well with change and stuff, she will be lovely Im sure.
I did a client on Sat, she had a cut, colour and 5 foils through the top...I did pretty good, she was happy so thats the main thing..
anyway 10.30pm...Im soooooo tired
nite
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Mothers day
come and gone again.....mine was really good til I got home............ anyway...I dont talk about my husband on here so I wont start........................dont worry we are still seperated.
We went into the city and had a picnic at the park, the kids loved it and had fun allll day...was great...we then went back to mum and dads and mum cut out my pants...didnt get her to make them...I want to do that tomorow..achieve something..so I am going to get off here and do me housework so I have a clear morning tomorow...
we'll see
didnt do especially well with food today...not worried, back into a new healthy day tomorow....dont ya hate when you see photos and they are alll fat and stuff...yeukkkk.
til then:)
We went into the city and had a picnic at the park, the kids loved it and had fun allll day...was great...we then went back to mum and dads and mum cut out my pants...didnt get her to make them...I want to do that tomorow..achieve something..so I am going to get off here and do me housework so I have a clear morning tomorow...
we'll see
didnt do especially well with food today...not worried, back into a new healthy day tomorow....dont ya hate when you see photos and they are alll fat and stuff...yeukkkk.
til then:)
Thursday, May 6, 2010
no sewing today!
I cut my pattern out today... i had alllllll intentions of making my harem pants and low and behold...NO CUTTING board......jesus...I cant cut out fabric with pinning all the pins in and all that fuss and bother..my cutting board is so much easier...I thought I bought a new one but I turned the house upside down and inside out and got as mad as...no patience you see...GRRRRRRR... anyway not to worry, good excuse to give it to mum...she will whip them up in no time...probably 1hour...she is a dressmaker you see and when she sews they look like they are bought from the shops...never mind, I'll ask her on Sunday after she gets the coffee machine..hehe, then she cant say no!!
Im not gunna crap on anymore about fat or weight or what I eat or what I dont...Im bored with it...I know what Im gunna do and I'll weigh in once a month...(here) still fucking obsessed enough to weigh everyday and night...Im just gunna do a tried and tested weight thing and go from there...I am setting a realistic goal to....65kilos is really pushing it and lets face it Im not 20 anymore, I need tone, not bone...skinnny I will never do so I'll be sensible..
my kids are obsessed with Avatar...so cute, they run around hissing and then in a wheelchair made from a trolly of blocks and a mower...the call it the "blue' movie...lol how funny is that... i have to keep saying avatar as I dont want them going out to school saying we watch blue movies at home!!!!! shame!!!hehe...i love it when the set up alll the old baby sheets and lay down and cover themselve to go into sleep mode to then change to the avatars...love it:)
Im not gunna crap on anymore about fat or weight or what I eat or what I dont...Im bored with it...I know what Im gunna do and I'll weigh in once a month...(here) still fucking obsessed enough to weigh everyday and night...Im just gunna do a tried and tested weight thing and go from there...I am setting a realistic goal to....65kilos is really pushing it and lets face it Im not 20 anymore, I need tone, not bone...skinnny I will never do so I'll be sensible..
my kids are obsessed with Avatar...so cute, they run around hissing and then in a wheelchair made from a trolly of blocks and a mower...the call it the "blue' movie...lol how funny is that... i have to keep saying avatar as I dont want them going out to school saying we watch blue movies at home!!!!! shame!!!hehe...i love it when the set up alll the old baby sheets and lay down and cover themselve to go into sleep mode to then change to the avatars...love it:)
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
well well
Yep weighed in...not sharing...not good...enough said.
soooooooooooooooo
I went SHOPPING!!!! nothing like spending a heap of money to make you feel better!!
I bought
black Harem pants...which by the way are very slimming...due to the fact that everything is hidden under them!!!!!! love it
I bought not one but 2 coffee machines!!! yep 2!! but one is for my mum for mothers day...my dad rang and wanted me to go and have a look..so I did and then I got talking to the lady sales assisitant...as I do...im very chatty:)... and it was such a good deal I had to have one......makes cappacino...spelling??...skim milk of course!! its a sunbeam one and its cooooool. the kids can give it to me!
I bought a buddah painting for my now Bali inspired lounge room, I have a new lounge, coffee table and entertainment unit that are thai looking...if that makes sense
I then went to Spotlight...my fave shop...and bought a harem pants pattern and some fabric...I never have time to sew but I am making time soon?
I bought a pressie for my senior from all of us..it was an Angel of Friendship..so nice
I bought a sandwhich press, cause I wanted another one..
I bought this cool wrought iron looking candle holder thingy...another thing that was bali inspired for said coffee table....
I saw this really nice quilt cover..( I has a HUGE king size bed..which I wouldnt recommend as linen is too frickin expensive) it was oriental looking...I think that is the theme I want throughout my house...always liked it really....but today $159 was a bit much for a quilt cover...might watch it and see if it ever on sale...only at Target
ummm what else??yep I think thats it!!...shit that was enough for this week anyway:)
soooooooooooooooo
I went SHOPPING!!!! nothing like spending a heap of money to make you feel better!!
I bought
black Harem pants...which by the way are very slimming...due to the fact that everything is hidden under them!!!!!! love it
I bought not one but 2 coffee machines!!! yep 2!! but one is for my mum for mothers day...my dad rang and wanted me to go and have a look..so I did and then I got talking to the lady sales assisitant...as I do...im very chatty:)... and it was such a good deal I had to have one......makes cappacino...spelling??...skim milk of course!! its a sunbeam one and its cooooool. the kids can give it to me!
I bought a buddah painting for my now Bali inspired lounge room, I have a new lounge, coffee table and entertainment unit that are thai looking...if that makes sense
I then went to Spotlight...my fave shop...and bought a harem pants pattern and some fabric...I never have time to sew but I am making time soon?
I bought a pressie for my senior from all of us..it was an Angel of Friendship..so nice
I bought a sandwhich press, cause I wanted another one..
I bought this cool wrought iron looking candle holder thingy...another thing that was bali inspired for said coffee table....
I saw this really nice quilt cover..( I has a HUGE king size bed..which I wouldnt recommend as linen is too frickin expensive) it was oriental looking...I think that is the theme I want throughout my house...always liked it really....but today $159 was a bit much for a quilt cover...might watch it and see if it ever on sale...only at Target
ummm what else??yep I think thats it!!...shit that was enough for this week anyway:)
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
oh boy
I havent weighed myself since about Saturday?? Not sure...I dont want to hop on them actually, Ive been eating rubbish and, well I dont know what is going on with me really..I care, but I dont..I really dont know why it is so hard this time, I wake up with great intentions, then something happens and I have to eat something yukky....it all went down hill from my holidays, no disapline...i piss myself off actually, I go well for a few weeks and then BANG...lose the plot..same old record playing over and over and I guess its a good thing I have not many reading...its getting boring.. I know it but Im struggling..
Not really much more to talk about really....work is going well, I got my training plan today and I have about 4 books/moduals that were due to be finished by the 30th April, so I will have to talk to my boss on Friday as I have to get moving....i am defiantly NOT doing a 4 year apprenticeaship and they are likey not to sign people off cause that costs more money blah blah, so I have to really push myself....comes down (again) the the fucking confidence thing...blah, blah BLAH...I did 2 haircuts today and they were fine..I felt in control and didnt question anything that I was doing..and then I did a great french roll...I have had that book for over 12 months...hmm big trouble I think I'll be in!! lol care factor!!!!! 0
I have to do foiling next...and fast!
Oh well, keep going
Not really much more to talk about really....work is going well, I got my training plan today and I have about 4 books/moduals that were due to be finished by the 30th April, so I will have to talk to my boss on Friday as I have to get moving....i am defiantly NOT doing a 4 year apprenticeaship and they are likey not to sign people off cause that costs more money blah blah, so I have to really push myself....comes down (again) the the fucking confidence thing...blah, blah BLAH...I did 2 haircuts today and they were fine..I felt in control and didnt question anything that I was doing..and then I did a great french roll...I have had that book for over 12 months...hmm big trouble I think I'll be in!! lol care factor!!!!! 0
I have to do foiling next...and fast!
Oh well, keep going
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